Stories and essays from my life
Alzheimer’s is no laughing matter, except for when the person with Alzheimer’s is your mother, and her favorite topic of conversation is large penises.
Poop references, races to the bathroom, and disgusting nicknames aside, I have never wanted to trade my brothers for sisters, I don’t care how many times they farted on me.
At sixteen-years-old, I had one of the most fun summers of my life, and learned a thing or two about water pumps.
How you sell matters. What your process is matters. But how your customers feel when they engage with you matters more, especially when selling lap dances at a strip club.
My quest to make the most amount of money, in the least amount of time, doing the littlest amount of work possible has led me to this conclusion; jobs like these usually require full frontal nudity.
Nothing is scarier than a clown, except a clown with an affinity for oral sex.
Turns out writing a song for a long lost love, recording it, and shipping it over international waters, isn't enough to win them over.
Anal beads, pronouns, and surgical gloves: My non-binary roommate experience
The Passover seder requires all participants to drink four glasses of wine, and when I was seven-years-old, it sure made for an interesting night.
Stale snacks, prolapsed anuses, and naughty septuagenarians; my first experience in a BDSM dungeon